You all are so sweet. Some of you I havent even met! Thanks for your excitement for us.
Now I need your prayers.
I have been very ill. Pregnancy does not do well with my body, unfortunately. I throw up daily, fight nausea til I fall asleep at night, other unpleasant issues, stomach aches etc. I look and feel like death, 99% of the time. I have immense guilt hanging over my head because I cant entertain Bryn like she needs right now, and my house is slowly falling apart. My bathroom needs to be bombed.
I can tell you that Dan, is superman. I havent done the dishes in WEEKS because he knows I gag, so he just does it. He's done most of the laundry for 4 weeks, done the grocery shopping and ran errands for me. It's a big blessing. I'll be hooked up to an IV in the morning, thanks to him. Hoping I'll get relief with that.
I pray this doesnt last as long as it did with Brynlee. Most foods I CAN eat, are beige. BEIGE. With the occasional green apple, yellow banana. Its the exact opposite of what I was eating all those months to lose the weight. I miss protein.
Anyways, I could go off about that. But really, please just pray for healing, or solutions or whatever. Help!
Saturday, May 26, 2012
Wednesday, May 23, 2012
This is the story I never thought I'd have. I'm shocked.
My period was late, I started to feel awful, and the headaches began. I told Dan to grab me a cheapo pregnancy test so we can rule it out. I get home from working out ( where my boobs felt like 50lb weights when I ran ) took a shower and then realized I needed to take the test. It was an immediate positive. In all the years of testing, I've never had 2 solid lines, they are always so faint I have to look at it a million times to verify. I thought, that's weird, must be a bad test. I had a few spotting episodes and wondered if the blood had turned it positive. But as I went through my symptoms, and realized just how late I was, I yelled for Dan. "uh, it's positive" I said, while washing my hair. He just stood there, dumbfounded. The next few minutes and hours were robotic.
I thought, Ok if this is for real, what does a normal person do when they find out their pregnant? All these years of micro managing my cycle have made me forgot that the average person does not get a very very early ultrasound. The average person doesnt know to ask for a beta number. So I ran up to convenience care, asking for blood draw and beta. In tears I explained my history and that I am in shock and dont know what to think. I asked if I could have a viability ultrasound, but of course they didnt have those machines. After taking the blood, he said it'll be 3 days before we know.
Forget that. 3 days to an "infertile" could seriously mean life or death, and it's eternity. I needed to get a viability test and have my bloodwork, now. I turned around and had an HOUR phone interview with my new doc's nurse discussing my history. She had to run it past the doc in order to get me in this early ( i was 6w) for an u/s.
So my friend hooked me up with her lovely midwife who wrote me a script for a viability ultrasound, sent it in to a lab, and I got in the next day.
Still with me?
Now I'm getting sick. Everything within me is saying, YOU ARE PREGNANT. I have the exact symptoms I had with Bryn.
I went to the appt, and was spoiled rotten by the fabulous technology. At my old clinic, their machines were ancient. So after a few brief hellos and introductions to the nice tech, I dropped trou, lubed up and hellooo nurse. i havent had a transvag in a year, always a thrill. She didnt know my history and my unfortunate wealth of knowledge at this point in the game, so I was explaining to her student what she was looking at and for, what the measurements meant, etc. She got a kick out of it. In fact I saw the heartbeat before those 2 genius's did. I asked, what the heartrate was at, and she said she hasnt seen it yet, I saw its right there ( as I took the wand and moved it around my hoo ha while pointing at the screen. Catching her off guard. The heart was strong at 128. I found myself being very factual, I had no emotion whatsoever. It was weird.
You have to understand, we gave this idea up. We 100% believed that bryn was gonna be it, and WE WERE FINE with it. So to go from that, to, SURPRISE! You're pregnant on your own! Is, earth shattering.
I'm extremely sick, just like with Brynlee. I puke everyday, no meds can touch my nausea, unfortunately. I went from cramming my body with protein and lean foods, to now barely getting protein in a 3 days period, and eating anything I can bare. Which is usually about 5 different foods. I estimate I'll be hooked up to an IV by the end of the week at this rate.
I'll write again once the sickness and shock wear off...
I will note, my conception date was one week off from Bryn's. I'm 10 weeks ( tomorrow ) and heart rate is 168.
My period was late, I started to feel awful, and the headaches began. I told Dan to grab me a cheapo pregnancy test so we can rule it out. I get home from working out ( where my boobs felt like 50lb weights when I ran ) took a shower and then realized I needed to take the test. It was an immediate positive. In all the years of testing, I've never had 2 solid lines, they are always so faint I have to look at it a million times to verify. I thought, that's weird, must be a bad test. I had a few spotting episodes and wondered if the blood had turned it positive. But as I went through my symptoms, and realized just how late I was, I yelled for Dan. "uh, it's positive" I said, while washing my hair. He just stood there, dumbfounded. The next few minutes and hours were robotic.
I thought, Ok if this is for real, what does a normal person do when they find out their pregnant? All these years of micro managing my cycle have made me forgot that the average person does not get a very very early ultrasound. The average person doesnt know to ask for a beta number. So I ran up to convenience care, asking for blood draw and beta. In tears I explained my history and that I am in shock and dont know what to think. I asked if I could have a viability ultrasound, but of course they didnt have those machines. After taking the blood, he said it'll be 3 days before we know.
Forget that. 3 days to an "infertile" could seriously mean life or death, and it's eternity. I needed to get a viability test and have my bloodwork, now. I turned around and had an HOUR phone interview with my new doc's nurse discussing my history. She had to run it past the doc in order to get me in this early ( i was 6w) for an u/s.
So my friend hooked me up with her lovely midwife who wrote me a script for a viability ultrasound, sent it in to a lab, and I got in the next day.
Still with me?
Now I'm getting sick. Everything within me is saying, YOU ARE PREGNANT. I have the exact symptoms I had with Bryn.
I went to the appt, and was spoiled rotten by the fabulous technology. At my old clinic, their machines were ancient. So after a few brief hellos and introductions to the nice tech, I dropped trou, lubed up and hellooo nurse. i havent had a transvag in a year, always a thrill. She didnt know my history and my unfortunate wealth of knowledge at this point in the game, so I was explaining to her student what she was looking at and for, what the measurements meant, etc. She got a kick out of it. In fact I saw the heartbeat before those 2 genius's did. I asked, what the heartrate was at, and she said she hasnt seen it yet, I saw its right there ( as I took the wand and moved it around my hoo ha while pointing at the screen. Catching her off guard. The heart was strong at 128. I found myself being very factual, I had no emotion whatsoever. It was weird.
You have to understand, we gave this idea up. We 100% believed that bryn was gonna be it, and WE WERE FINE with it. So to go from that, to, SURPRISE! You're pregnant on your own! Is, earth shattering.
I'm extremely sick, just like with Brynlee. I puke everyday, no meds can touch my nausea, unfortunately. I went from cramming my body with protein and lean foods, to now barely getting protein in a 3 days period, and eating anything I can bare. Which is usually about 5 different foods. I estimate I'll be hooked up to an IV by the end of the week at this rate.
I'll write again once the sickness and shock wear off...
I will note, my conception date was one week off from Bryn's. I'm 10 weeks ( tomorrow ) and heart rate is 168.
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